this realli worth the time to read

THE PRESENT MOMENT
Let's start out with how to be happy in the present moment.
I'm going to give you an assignment, which I really encourage you to do. The results will be fun and surprising.
Make a list of 25 things you think you need in order to be totally happy. Don't censor yourself, just write freely without worrying about how your list looks.
Here are some things people often put on their lists at my seminars.
One million dollars
One billion dollars
A six-month cruise around the world
To be President of the United States
A Porsche
The perfect marriage
To be famous
To have my own TV show
Healthy children
Parents that get along
A mansion
My own private jet

You've got to admit, this is some basket of goodies. But will their acquisition make you happy?
That depends on what happiness means to you. I think this is a good time to define our subject: Happiness means taking pleasure in what you have.
You're certainly not going to be happy about the things you don't have. Happiness is when you walk outside on a beautiful summer day, look around and suddenly feel a rush of pleasure. Or when you come home from work and your child runs to greet you at the door.
When you sit down to a great meal at a fancy restaurant you definitely feel good. That's because you're happy -- you're enjoying what you have.

HAVE AND HAVE NOT
Yet look at the things that appear on people's lists. One fact is clear: if they want to be happy, they are going about it the wrong way. They are focusing on what they don't have. If most of their attention is directed toward what they don't have, are they going to be happy? Of course not. I'm certainly not saying that they shouldn't strive for all those things. But they also should take pleasure in what's in their own backyard.
Strive for all you want, also take pleasure in what's in your backyard already.
Look at your own list. How many of the things on it do you presently have? If only a few of them or even none, then you're saying, "My happiness depends on getting X, Y and Z." I certainly hope you get them. But what about being happy in the meantime?
Want I want you to see is that you already have many wonderful blessings. It's enriching and productive to notice them.
Therefore, I want you to make another list. This time, write down 25 of the greatest blessings you currently have in your life.
These are some of the things people commonly put on their lists:
I have hands
I have feet
I have eyes
I have ears
My parents are alive
One of my parents is alive
I am alive
I have children
I have a good friend
I own my house
I love my wife or husband
My wife or husband loves me
I learn something new every day
I know how to read and write
I live in America, Canada, etc.
I am relatively sane

Now you have two lists:
List A: The things you think you need in order to be happy. List B: The blessings you already have.
Now I want to show you something remarkable. Which of your two lists do you think has better things on it? For example, let's say in List A you put one million dollars (or one billion if you're really ambitious). And let's say you put "eyes" on List B.
Which would you rather have -- eyes or one million dollars? Or even a billion dollars? Would you give up your legs for all that money?
What's the price tag on life itself?
Without exception, I have shown people that the list of what they have is much greater than the list of what they think they need in order to be happy. So if people already have a list of incredible blessings and are grumpy and dissatisfied, why should they believe that they would be happy if they had more things?
You might be surprised to hear that I've even had people with terrible problems acknowledge the pricelessness of their blessings.
The only ones who were reluctant to acknowledge how many wonderful things they had in their lives were people close to suicide. Being suicidal, by the way, comes from obsessive focus on what is lacking in one's life.
What can you learn from all this? It's wonderful to want new things, but you also have to take pleasure in the present moment. If your formula is "If I only had X, I'll be happy -- you'll never be happy. When you get X, you'll focus on not having Y. There's nothing wrong with wanting X and Y, but how about enjoying what you have in the meantime?

BOOT CAMP FOR HAPPINESS
I remember the first time I ever taught a class on happiness. At one point, I asked the students to make a list of some of the pleasures they'd had during the day. "Pick things about which you really felt strongly," I said.
Guess what was on the list? Things like "awareness of God" and "helping an old lady cross the street."
"Come on everybody," I said."Those are things you think you're supposed to say. I want something you really felt." One girl in the back of the class shyly raised her hand."Does this count?" She asked."I had a really great cup of coffee this morning."
"How did you feel when you drank it?"
"Terrific," she said.
"I sat in the sun and felt really good just before class," someone else said.
"I got a call from my sister a few hours ago," said a third.
Those were really good examples.
When I ask for people to remember a moment of happiness, they think I am looking for something extraordinary or saintly. They pick giant things they think they should feel, but probably don't. And not too many giant things happen to us during the day. Life is composed of thousands and thousands of small moments.
Happiness is the natural state of a human being -- just watch a baby for a few minutes.
The truth of the matter is that happiness is the natural state of a human being. Watch a baby for a few minutes. They don't seem to have too much trouble being happy.
To make the point, I bring ice cream into seminars. Everyone's mood suddenly perks up and they're all smiles. The ice cream does the trick -- it got them to forget their worries and focus on the goodness of life. Being happy should be a pleasure felt in the gut, not some abstract concept that stays in the mind.
Spend three days looking for your moments of happiness. Every time you feel a true shot of pleasure, notice it. You'll see that sometimes they are few and far between - not because there aren't many chances to feel them, but because you're worrying or focusing on what isn't going right.
Each moment can be filled with pleasure. If you were suddenly able to see or hear for the first time, you'd be filled with joy for at least a whole day.
Looking at a flower, seeing a friend walking toward you, enjoying something you're eating -- all of these are moments of happiness.
People often ask me whether they should write down their happy moments and look at the list every day. The truth is, we don't have to hang onto the old ones. Every second is bringing new ones. Why look at a list of what happened yesterday?
Happiness is an attitude of noticing the good constantly coming our way.
There's so much good coming every minute, there's no need to hand onto the past. We don't need to grasp onto a rope to prevent ourselves from drowning when we are standing on dry land.
The trick of it is to get into the habit of looking for good things, instead of griping all day about what's going wrong. I refer to this as a kind of boot camp. In boot camp, the army teaches a soldier how to instinctively do things he's never done before in his life, like marching or loading a weapon. We need to work at getting the same habits in happiness. We're often so consistently programmed to look for the bad or take our blessings for granted, that we become oblivious to all the interesting, pleasurable and good things around us.


ME: omg..i found this on a web which i find it a good way to change my habits of lookin things negatively..i hope this would help everyone to look at their life n tink about it..doesn't it show tt it is NOT DIFFICULT to be HAPPY? smile gals n boys..smile..be thankful n be happi wif wat u already hav..if there is sth you hav more..tt's a BONUS! =)

The given responsibility

Giving Calhoun the Ball

by: Brian Cavanaugh, T.O.R., The Sower's Seeds

There once was this important football game between two teams. One teams was much larger than the other. The larger team was dominating the game and beating the smaller team. The coach for the smaller team saw that his team was not able to contain or block the larger team. So his only hope was to call the plays that went to Calhoun, the fastest back in the aream who could easily outrun the larger players once he broke free.

The coach talked with his quarterback about giving the ball to Calhoun and letting him run with it. The first play the coach was excited, but Calhoun did not get the ball. The second play was again signaled for Calhoun, but once again Colhoun did not get the ball. Now the game was in the final seconds with the smaller team's only hope being for Calhoun to break free and score the winning touchdown. The third play and again Calhoun did not get the ball. The coach was very upset so he sent in the play again for the fourth and final play. The ball was snapped and the quarterbak was sacked, ending the game.

The coach was furious as he confronted the quarterback: "I told you four times to give the ball to Calhoun and now we've lost the game."

The quarterback stood tall and told the coach, "Four times I called the play to give the ball to Calhoun. The problem was that Calhoun did not want the ball."

ME: hmm..it may seem funny to you but if u r a team sports player..u will understand..every single person related to a team is important..a coach to teach, players to play n win, reserves to standby in case of any accident/injury, manager to tk care of the welfare of the team, and oso as important as any other.. the supporters..so..everione is important..if a player doesn't give his/her fullest effort,he/she is not responsible to the team,the coach and those supporters shouting for him/her. Of course..u muz understand tt when an instruction is given to u..it may be a heavy load added to ur shoulder but y not look at it this way..the team trust u..the team knows u can make the difference..the team is supporting u..so do it for the team,for the supporters and DO IT FOR URSELF! you can make a difference!

a company n a listening ear is enough 2

Just Listen by: Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom

I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me along time to believe in the power of simple saying, "I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain. And meaning it.
One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happen to them. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. It was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care. Many people with cancer can talk about the relief of having someone just listen.
I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.
This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young. I thought people listened only because they were too timid to speak or did not know the answer. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words.

ME: the story and the text here is so veri true..to listen is not easy..especialli mani ppl hav short concentration span..i often ask a friend out or call a friend up to talk but mani times i m too sad to start the topic..but wat made it worse is when i "reorganise" my feelings n thoughts n was about to tok.. the other party start talking trying to cheer me up..for mi...this realli doesn't help..i believe mani ppl experience this b4..i guess..ppl out dere.. start to use ur ears n ur heart to listen n understand b4 talking..
aniway..gals guys young old..juz wanna say i will always b dere if u need me =)

a company n a listening ear is enough

One day, many years ago, when I was working as a psychologist at a children's institution in England, an adolescent boy showed up in the waiting room. I went out there where he was walking up and down restlessly.
I showed him into my office and pointed to the chair on the other side of my desk. It was in late autumn, and the lilac bush outside the window had shed all its leaves. "Please sit down," I said.
David wore a black rain coat that was buttoned all the way up to his neck. His face was pale, and he stared at his feet while wringing his hands nervously. He had lost his father as an infant, and had lived together with his mother and grandfather since. But the year before David turned 13, his grandfather died and his mother was killed in a car accident. Now he was 14 and in family care.
His head teacher had referred him to me. "This boy," he wrote, "is understandably very sad and depressed. He refuses to talk to others and I'm very worried about him. Can you help?"
I looked at David. How could I help him? There are human tragedies psychology doesn't have the answer to, and which no words can describe. Sometimes the best thing one can do is to listen openly and sympathetically.
The first two times we met, David didn't say a word. He sat hunched up in the chair and only looked up to look at the children's drawings on the wall behind me. As he was about to leave after the second visit, I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't shrink back, but he didn't look at me either.
"Come back next week, if you like," I said. I hesitated a bit. Then I said, "I know it hurts."
He came, and I suggested we play a game of chess. He nodded. After that we played chess every Wednesday afternoon - in complete silence and without making any eye contact. It's not easy to cheat in chess, but I admit that I made sure David won once or twice.
Usually, he arrived earlier than agreed, took the chessboard and pieces from the shelf and began setting them up before I even got a chance to sit down. It seemed as if he enjoyed my company. But why did he never look at me?
"Perhaps he simply needs someone to share his pain with," I thought. "Perhaps he senses that I respect his suffering." One afternoon in late winter, David took off his rain coat and put it on the back of the chair. While he was setting up the chess pieces, his face seemed more alive and his motions more lively.
Some months later, when the lilacs blossomed outside, I sat starring at David's head, while he was bent over the chessboard. I thought about how little we know about therapy - about the mysterious process associated with healing. Suddenly, he looked up at me.
"It's your turn," he said.
After that day, David started talking. He got friends in school and joined a bicycle club. He wrote to me a few times ("I'm biking with some friends and I feel great"); letters about how he would try to get into university. After some time, the letters stopped. Now he had really started to live his own life.
Maybe I gave David something. At least I learned a lot from him. I learned how time makes it possible to overcome what seems to be an insuperable pain. I learned to be there for people who need me. And David showed me how one - without any words - can reach out to another person. All it takes is a hug, a shoulder to cry on, a friendly touch, a sympathetic nature - and an ear that listens.

to be continue..blah blah..