My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him
for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm
feeling while lean against his broad shoulder
Three years in the courtship and now, two years into
marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of
it, the reasons of me loving him before has now
transform into the cause of all the restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and
exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings
I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy
yearning for candy.
And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of
sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing
romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me
about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision
that I want a divorce,
"Why?" he asked, shocking.
"I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in
the world" I answered

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep
thoughts the whole night with cigarette lighted all
the times.
My feeling of disappointment is getting intense, a man
who can't even express his detainment, what else can I
hope from him?

And finally he asked :" What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's
personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith
in him. Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered

"Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my
heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower
at a mountain cliff, and we both sure that the making
you to pick the flower will cause death, will you do> > it for me?"> > > > He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My heart just sink by listening to his respond.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, underneath a
glass of warm milk

It goes....
"Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but
please allowed me to further explain the reasons "
This first line has already break my heart. I continue reading.

"You can only type with computer and always messed up
the programs in the PC, and cries in front of screen,
I have to saved my fingers so that I can help to
restore the programs. You always left the house key
behind, I have to save my legs to rush home for
opening the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my
eyes to leads you the way

You always has the cramp whenever your "good friend"
approach every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy.
You like to stays indoor, and I worries that you will
be infected by infantile autism
I have to save my mouth to tells you jokes and stories
to cure your boredom.

You always stared at the computers, and that do no
good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when
we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help
to removed those annoying white hairs. I will hold
your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the
sunshine and the beautiful sands... tells you the
colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, before I am sure there are someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. "
My tears drops on the letters, and blurred the ink of
his hand writing... and I resume my reading...
"And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer,
if you are satisfied with these answers, please open
the door of our house, I am standing there, with your
favorites bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies inbetween the peace and dullness.
Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.
Under all these, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life... I hope everyone enjoy reading it... love, but not words win the arguments...

there is always room for a cup of coffee

just take 2 minutes...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two mugs of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple cups of coffee."

Sorry..

read this:

It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore i finished school a little earlier, i called him,
Hey, i finished school earlier today, would you come by and pick me up?
Alright, give me 5 minutes.
5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house.
I need to get ready.
Alright, make it fast then. 2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself. Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it was better that I fanned.
5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up, I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch.
10 minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident?
15 minutes passed, he finally shown up.
Why are you so late? He wasn't even a lil' bothered
Nahz, was watching TV.
What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat before you come down then? I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood there and stared at him.
Sorry.
This was the first time he said sorry to me... He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl. I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home. He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels. The only thing he does is to apologise. To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry. I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises. He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl. Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes. Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.
Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised.
I dropped my head:you don't ever need to say sorry to me again. If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances again and again hoping and believing that you would change each time.
He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry. Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever. I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me. :What's wrong with you these few days?
Nothing.
Then why are you acting so strange?
I am not.
What can you say other than this answer?
Do you know I'm very worried, very insecure, do you treat me as your girlfriend?
I'm sorry...
I don't want to hear you say sorry again. I put down the phone and he did not call back. He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should....break up. .....this was the 99th time he said sorry... From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him. Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall but everytime I said hello, it was dead, i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up? After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelings I still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him. I went outside his classroom and looked around, but there was no sign of him.
excuse me, is HE here today?
I'm afraid he already stopped schooling.
Huh? Why? When was that?
He hasn't been in school for a month already.
Oh erms...thanks. One month....not in school for one month...why is that so? I stumbled home.
Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone.... I put down the phone, and called his house next, but there was no answer. How can it be? The whole family migrated? It seems as though he has already disappeared from the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace. I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend. He was one of his brothers and also my good friend.
Hey, what have you been doing? HE is in hospital.
REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?
Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time.
I'll be right there. I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents were already there. I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall. He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word, not moving a muscle,
Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me? He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again. Come on answer me...why don't you speak? A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strength that he could master to say... I'm...sorry... After that, his eyes went shut.
Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me?Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please. I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt I cried out..Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me an explanation instead? I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use... If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime, please I beg of you..open your eyes..... That was the 100th sorry A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me away and tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up... My mind was a blank.... my eyes could only see a sea of black. He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore. But he would appear in my dreams sometimes, telling me how he was doing. He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart. would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore. After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry. The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up. I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then, before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in my chest, but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me? The second time, my dear, I... The third time, my dear, I... The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world, It had to be so because God did not give me the chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine, and to put the ring on your finger.... You are the first girl I apologised to. And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life... Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you... Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear... I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You ~... How can I not cry? What you said was just too impossible. The last photograph was of him in the hospital, Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever. His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th. At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him. :I'm sorry. I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....


Sorry may be an insignificant word..but sometimes..it carry a meaning..sth realli impt..
To me at least..someone who say sorry is full of regrets for someone else and NOT for ownself..
one last thing..treasure the ppl ard u b4 they are gone..it might be too late when you had decided to forgive someone..

learn to let go..

Letting Go
Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what.I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?"Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her Grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere - to kindergarten,bed, and when she went out with her mother to run errands.
The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower - her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green. Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me? "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said. "Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?" "Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss."Good night, little one." A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you."Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father. "No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss."God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams." Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy," she said,and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand. With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had them all along.He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.
Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities which you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go?
Think about it..so is all that you have really so inseperable?

TREE LEAF and WIND

JuZ wondering..if you were given a choice to choose from the 3..which one will u choose? juz curious =)

Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give upeverything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively andinteresting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then.
It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay".

Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me.It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a smallfooting in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.


Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her,there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her awayIt's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave treeI replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this erseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no lessthan 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small rayof hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay..